just where i stand

another day, huh? a routine is becoming familiar to me now and, well, okay with me. my life is seemingly more restricted, but absolutely more full.

it's only been days and this has set in. what happens after a few weeks...months...dare i say years? i am excited to become okay with challenge in my personal life. thrilled in fact.

life for me has always lingered at this one, distinct place. a place where my physical health just didn't climb into being a priority. i often wonder as i look back how different life may have been if i took another path? but i smile. life has placed me in this moment. in this place. specific. not random.

sigh. could this be it?? could this be the beginning of something beautiful?? my new life? my endless capabilities? if i want it.

*E*

Shhh...

Today was a day best spent inside. Winds were blistering and howling…bags, signs, even port o potties were left flipped and blown.

No one had a choice in how the wind behaved, including my well coiffed hair. As I watched so many random objects become victim to the wind’s submissive power, I smiled.

In this moment, in this mission, I cannot be blown off track. I know. Prepackaged. But sincere.

I will fight against temptation. I will push against fatigue. I will even sacrifice some good hair days.

As I met with customers and traveled through the city, I felt crisp. Sharp. I felt compelled. No longer random.

Shhhh...A secret. I feel like I have been let in on something only a select few are privied to. Don't worry. I won't tell.

I'll let my results do the talking.

*E*

Sqeaky Wheel Gets the Grease

Big day today. Big relief. After not stepping foot in the gym for oh, well, let's just say too many moons, that came to an end. Today.

Half of this battle will be preparation. This morning I awoke to my normal routine, but was calculating, almost obsessive about what was loaded into my red bag.

Almonds? Yes. Wait. Not too many.

After a fiery day of follow up, fire extinguishing, rating and building, I left energized and proud of my execution. Just as I had planned.

Now the fun part.

Driving down the parkway under the sunset, I smiled. Going to the gym or first day of school? Interchangeable at this moment. Who was going to be in the gym? What was I going to do first? Would I blend in or did I have "drop out" written all over my face?

I selected a stallion...or treadmill (hey, I have to make it exciting) and began my journey.

(squeek...squeek...squeek)

Seriously? No, seriously? Like the carts I so often pick at the market, I indeed chose the noisy treadmill. Yes!!! I surely won't stand out now!!

The 30-something guy next to me peaks over. I convince myself he is absolutely admiring my form and couldn't possibly be bothered by the noise. Perception Emily. Perception. It's all in your head.

10 minutes...20 minutes...45...done. Wow?!? That was it huh?

And then it dawned on me. The mountain will be a gradual climb. Some obstacles in my way, but at the same time, quite simple. There is a start and a stop. I have to find a wait to make it from one to the next.

Turn 1. Down. Keep the momentum going.

*E*

Twas the night before...

For another 7 minutes it will be Christmas. This Christmas I decided to gift myself. Although I had a BOGO process to my shopping (Buy One, Give One) this season, gifting myself came in a new package then in the past.

What's the gift? I am running a marathon. Now, now, now...Don't panic. Not the likes of 26.2 but rather half, 13.1. For now.

I have spent a large part of my life focusing on the needs of others. Shift. Change. 2010 is about me.

Tomorrow begins my physical transformation. My journey. Tomorrow begins a new life.

On May 2nd I will be running in the Philadelphia Broad Street Run. September 19th will be the ING Philadelphia Distance Run.

Light the flame. Start the game. I am capable of whatever I decide. Decision made. Price will be paid. The finish line is in my future.

*E*